Most of our internal reflection happens during moments of adversity and turmoil. When shit goes bad we are forced to analyse the situation in our attempts to rectify it and stem the bleeding. It was during one of these painful moments when I realised the power of acceptance. This is not to be confused with accepting our people’s bullshit, this is about accepting the reality of the situation and directing your energy towards more favorable outcomes.
Our inability to accept reality can often cause us to loose all rational as we attempt to control the uncontrollable, even to the point of murder and suicide in extreme cases. This is a dark dangerous place for the mind to dwell and we have all spent time there to one degree or another.
As I mature as a man I learn how to create my reality through conscious thought and decisive movements. Direct, clear and concise communication is the hallmark of self-awareness – it’s a life long discipline and I’m a keen student. I’m aware that it’s far easier to change my own perspective than to try and change others. This is simple logic but emotions are not logical, emotions dictate that if we want to fuck the hot girl we met in the bar we have to paint a certain picture regardless of how genuine it may or may not be. Who cares right? So long as we achieve our objective and she spreads her legs.
This mentality is rife and it causes us to lie, cheat, bend, manipulate and suck up in order to get the ‘prize’ – sex is not a prize, sex should be mutually rewarding for both parties. But due to our reluctance to allow the chips to fall where they may we now find ourselves in their reality, not ours.
A mature man doesn’t lie, cheat, bend, manipulate or suck up in order to get what he wants. He lays out his stall giving the other person the opportunity to make an informed decision based on a genuine representation of the man before them. Acceptance of reality dictates that if the other person is of a different mindset, we have the discipline to walk away. In doing so we retain control of our reality and may continue to shape our world as we see fit.
Scarcity and a lack of options with the opposite sex often causes many of us to cling to unrealistic expectations of changing a person or trying to be something we are not. Most of us have been there at some stage in our lives and I’m sure we can all attest to the shortcomings of this approach.
The ability to accept reality gives us the power to reframe our perspective and be true to ourselves and others. You may not always get everyone you want, but you will get what you want, and it will be on your own terms.
The truth really does set you free.